Adult Attachment Therapy

Understanding Attachment: How Early Bonds Shape Relationships

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What Is Attachment Theory?

Attachment theory explains how our earliest relationships—especially with caregivers—shape the way we connect with others throughout life.

Mary Ainsworth’s Strange Situation study identified different attachment patterns in infants, showing how early bonds influence emotional security. Later, Mary Main expanded this research, finding that adult attachment patterns often reflect childhood experiences.

While attachment tendencies can feel deeply ingrained, they are not fixed. With self-awareness and personal growth, attachment patterns can evolve over time.

How Does Attachment Affect Your Relationships?

Your early attachment experiences influence:

How you choose romantic partners

Whether you feel secure or anxious in relationships

Your ability to trust and feel intimacy

How you respond to conflict and emotional needs

Understanding these patterns can help you break cycles and build stronger, healthier relationships.

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Beyond Labels: A Flexible View of Attachment

Many popular discussions on attachment reduce it to fixed categories, such as anxious, avoidant, or secure. However, attachment is more fluid than a single label. Rather than categorizing people, I focus on:

  • Identifying relational patterns and strategies that emerge in different situations

  • Exploring how different relationships bring out different aspects of attachment

  • Recognizing that attachment is dynamic and can change over time

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The most important
relationship you have is the
one you have with yourself.

Exploring Attachment in Therapy

In therapy, we will explore your relationship patterns with curiosity rather than judgment. Over time, we will examine whether avoidant, fearful, or anxious tendencies arise and work toward greater self-awareness and emotional security.

If you have questions about attachment theory and how it applies to your relationships, I would love to explore this with you. Click below to schedule a free consultation or reach out with any questions. If you do not see any appointment times that work for you, please email connect@erinmalki.com, as I may have additional availability on my end.

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